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View an Archived Rant - Tailgate Rescue Crew - Rescuing Tailgaters from the Mundane!

When was the last time you were on...

brought forth this day: 2015-12-11 23:05:02
the verge of doing the best you’ve ever done ...at anything?
Been 4 or 5 years since Waters did the original Hell-Della Hot Wing challenge. Hasn’t done one thing worth noting since. I’d say landing Amanda but he didn’t do that…she’s just charitable.
Haus’ crowning moment was the suspenders and speedo’s tailgate and chastising Danny Morrison about Jimmy Clausen. Every single thing he’s done since that time has been an utter disappointment.
Rusty pared the world famous #17 at Sawgrass. And at least he had the self-awareness to realize it was a future full of bed shitting from that point forward and moved to Greensboro.
Todds’? Todd’s was almost dunking a basketball on an 8ft goal but instead pegged it on the rim and then shit his pants, all the while dressed like a, long dead, drunk baseball announcer.
I could go on but you get the point. While YOUR best days are behind YOU….we’re fortunate enough to be witnessing a Panthers team with their best days on the horizon.  12-0. NFC South 3-peat champions. We’re poised to lay the cornerstone to a prosperous football dynasty. Yes friends….we are entering the gates of the golden years. May the road be long and littered with tailgaters and cold beer. But first, we’ve got a little more bit-ness to handle.
Atlanta’s coming to town. So prepare for cutting edge new songs like “Doin’ da butt” and “It Takes Two” blaring from repossessed night club speakers on the corners of every street in uptown. Enjoy the constant yelling of the Hartsfield International Airport code – they really love their airport down there. Take note of how many times you hear them barking their area code. And last but not least…look on in amazement at how many don’t go into the game but instead put on Salt n Pepa’s “Push It” and keep partying in the lot.
I’ve actually grown to love the Atlanta tailgates. Few years back me and Hogie almost got into a rap battle. They would’ve been floored by the stylings of DJ J-Rock and Hogie 1X. We were ready to spit fire about paying mortgages, sensible cars and dinner parties. But as we waited patiently and politely for the mic....it never came. Next time.
As always....we'll be doing WINGS. All kinds. And this years Hell-Della sauce is literally the hottest sauce I've ever tasted. Maybe Waters can be great again....up for a challenge, Waters?
See you Sunday.