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View an Archived Rant - Tailgate Rescue Crew - Rescuing Tailgaters from the Mundane!

Justice has been restored within the TGRC, folks....

brought forth this day: 2014-12-19 23:05:02
Last Sunday I put the Chili Champion trophy in Big Red, where it belongs. And I learned a few things along the way.
Matt Waters is dedicated competitor. He tweaks, and tinkers and dabbles and puts in a lot of time and effort every year. I applaud and love him for that. But he's so rattled from getting crushed about his steak stew from a few years back, he doesn't know the difference between chili and country ham. He'll get out of this slump, I'm certain. But I'm pretty sure he's gonna show up with a crock pot full of jello, pinto beans before that happens
Chiliary purposely burned Hogan with cigarette on the face after she lost. She smokes menthols.
Susan dumped most of her chili out and then tried to say it was the "peoples chili". Hey Susan, why don't you just stick to prosecuting "the people" and take your culinary beating.
Eric had a good product. I liked it. My net worth increased after eating it, only to lose it again in the toilet...but it was good to be rich for a couple hours.
Hadella sealed his fate when he took the chili out of the green goblin crock pot. I knew as soon as i picked him up and saw a shiny new Hamilton Beach, that he's stolen his chili's soul. 
Blake and Jill seemed nervous about theirs....like they were smuggling a kilo over the US/Mexican border. Gotta have confidence with your chili. Otherwise it'll run all over you. Ya'll just chili babies....you'll learn.
But in the words of Meghan Trainor.....It's all about first place, bout first place, bout first place - No second".

But enough about last week.....next up - THE BROWNS -  The shit stain on the NFL's underwear. Now there are a lot of Browns fans around and none more famous than our very own Rusty Nutz Rusnak. And i have confirmation that Rusty will be- in town, to watch the browns, get beat down. 
We're gonna try to have Cleavland Stuffed Sandwiches at the tailgate. Not sure how we're gonna pull it off (or if we can) but we'll see. Not sure what else to do for Cleavland. Could drink Brown liquor. Could get drunk enough to "brown out". Could eat a bunch of pot Brownies. Waters could try to Brown some ground beef and use an actual chili meat base, etc, etc.
Whatever it is, we just need to shove Johnny Football's head up his brown eye and get a win closer to a showdown with ATL. We need to win out and Saints to loose one game....and we're in the playoffs. 

See you Sunday. It's Christmas and Hanukah and a reason to drink eggnog and ain't nobody working next week....so come Tailgate.