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View an Archived Rant - Tailgate Rescue Crew - Rescuing Tailgaters from the Mundane!

Today, my fellow TGRC'ians, we're gonna learn some...

brought forth this day: 2012-10-03 23:50:03
vocabulary. Today's words are  Haruki Nakamura, Marty Hurney and Ron Rivera.
Now you may be saying, "Jason..those are names. We already know these people. Haruki Nakamura is the incompetent Safety for Panthers. He's constantly out of position and was responsible for the 59yrd Roddy White catch that lead to the winning Atlanta field goal in the final seconds of the game on Sunday. And Marty Hurney is the Panthers General Manager who has procured talent to deliver only 3 winning seasons during his tenure. While he's had a few terrific draft picks, he's better known for his blunders. Like Everett Brown, Eric Shelton, Jeff Otah, Armanni Edwards, etc, etc. And Ron Rivera is the Panthers Head Coach who decided not to go for it on 4 and 1 and end the game with a win. He's a former defensive coordinator for the Chargers and actually played on, arguably, the best defense in history with the Bears."

But I say to you....you must've not received your updated Websters dictionary that was released Sunday nite. Allow me to define these words for you -

Haruki Nakamura - (verb) (def.) - to defecate or otherwise throwup on oneself thus discounting all the efforts of those around you.
Sentence - The baby had too much fruit and Haruki Nakamura'd all over the pretty new dress her daddy spent 30 fucking minutes trying to get her in with all the snaps and buttons connected correctly.
Marty Hurney - (verb) (def.) - the inability to consistently asses talent. The occasional "win" facilitates the belief that all choices are the right ones.
Sentence - While Waters had experienced success with the ladies before, tonite he had Marty Hurney'd and was parading that she-donkey around like he was showing for a 4H award.
Ron Rivera (verb) (def.) - to not take calculated risks. Instead you play the averages and then get bit in the ass by it, even when everything appears to go your way at first.
Sentence - Eric had some bad Chinese food and his stomach was very upset. Traffic was at a standstill but the exit to Eric's house was only a short distance away. Eric's truck was more than capable of pulling over on the shoulder of the road and driving the short distance to the exit. Instead he decided to Ron Rivera and not take a chance and sit in traffic until it started moving. Traffic did get going and Eric feverishly raced to his house but was just a bit too late and Haruki Nakamura'd all over his front seat.

So start sounding smart and make sure you use your words.

Sunday was a heartbreaker. But we move on. On to the land of flannel, grunge rock, coffee and fish tossing - that's right Seattle Seahawks. There's a big reason you want to be at this particular Tailgate - It's the return of the Rech Family Famous Meat Sandwiches. If you've ever had these....you know they are delicious. 4 whole beef tenderloins marinated in a secret family receipe, cooked medium rare over the BigRed Fire in the Hole Cooker, served in warm pita with a little horseradish and we'll saute some onions and mushrooms for toppings. These are serious sandwiches, people. We ain't dicking around on this one.
And you've got no reason to be late - (1) It's a 4:00 game. Big Red will be there at the usual time and watching early games on the TV. (2) No need to take a shower - it's dirty ass grungy Seattle (3) We'll have enough coffee to kickstart a graveyard.

And since three people opted to not change the spot - we'll see you at 208 S. Poplar. Sooner or later someone will choose something different.

We gotta beat Seattle. It's a must win. I trust the Meat Sandwiches will help.