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View an Archived Rant - Tailgate Rescue Crew - Rescuing Tailgaters from the Mundane!

 That was a complete and fulfilling experience! Let’s...

brought forth this day: 2012-09-18 23:50:02
do that again!

Which group of people have made that statement the fewest times over the past two years –

  • Anyone eating a meal at a Captain D’s

  • Any female leaving Haus’s bedroom

  • Edis after a proctology examination

  • Panther Fans reflecting on the Tailgate AND football game

  • All of the above

  • There’s always some truth to every multiple choice answer…but the definitive selection is D.
    Sunday was a good day. I would like to do that again. And we get the chance this Thursday against the G-MEN. But before we get into that…let’s reflect on the opening Tailgate.
    We have 3 folks who clearly get the SPIRIT AWARD for bringing it Opening Day -

    Eric “The Equipment Manager” Boone – Eric has officially equipped us to go into the used car or carnival business if this tailgating thing doesn’t work out. In addition to his cotton candy and popcorn machine, he now owns a “Panthers silly man air dancer”. I don’t know what these things are actually called but drive by any car lot on hwy 74 and it’s the elongated balloon air thingy. Eric got out of a cab at 8:00am, told the driver to “pop the trunk” and in 5 minutes a giant Panthers silly air dancer was waving and flailing high above the Tailgate. AWESOME!
    Lorin “The Meat Eating Vegetarian” Cahill -  If you guys weren’t aware, Lorin is (was) a vegetarian and has avoided several Tailgate meat eating landmines. From saucing her veggie patties with Brat juice, to hiding pork in side dishes (insert joke here), she has politely and patiently side stepped these dietary skud missiles…But yesterday, Lorin was so amped up she was gobbling down the chicken that went into the “Louisiana Taint Stew” like an alligator feeding at the zoo.  She even took a shot of the chicken stock! Between fistfuls of chicken to her face you could hear a garbled and guttural  – “Mmmm…its so good. It’s sooo good”.  A fancy curtsey with the butcher’s apron to you Ms. Cahill.
    Hogie One Time – Hogie (w/ Hillary and Lilly) was in Atlanta for a full open bar, top shelf liquor wedding weekend. Despite all the liquor they made him drink (you know..by having it available) and the hour you MUST add when traveling with a kid, Hogie came screaming into the lot, quickly changed clothes by the car and was drinking cold beer before 10:00am. His first sentence to me with a stone cold face -  “ I’ll challenge that silly man air balloon to a dance contest”.  I’m certain if we dig deep enough we’ll find some footage of Hogan in a rendition of West Side Story – fight/dancing is right up his alley. Well done Hogie One Time. Well Done.

    So… on to the Giants in Primetime on Thursday – This is a BIG ONE.
    I was gonna get Joe Lopardi to do the rant but the kids weren’t feeling well, so he couldn’t. That’s an inside joke. I know inside jokes don’t work well with the masses but if you know Joe and have had more than 6 interactions with him in the past 5 years , you’ve heard that  above statement come from him at least once.  Joe is the most New York Southerner you’ll find and he says he’ll be G-Men’d out for the Tailgate. Guess he’ll be tired come Tailgate time. I love you, Joe!
    I tapped Waters for the spot choice for this week. I figured he’s spent the most time in Uptown lots late at nite during the week. Oddly enough, he (and says most of you) want to stay put. So we’ll be back at 208 S. Poplar. We’re having a NY Italian Feast – think sausage and peppers, pasta, etc. Everything your Italian Grandma would make…and besides, look at you…you’re skin and bones….you need to eat. Sit…Eat. Mangia! Mangia!