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View an Archived Rant - Tailgate Rescue Crew - Rescuing Tailgaters from the Mundane!


brought forth this day: 2009-08-26 00:00:00
Now, I know some of you probably feel like you are ready to go. Probably feel like you are in game shape right now. If it were for real tomorrow, you feel like you could lace'em up and pick up where you left off last year. Well...YOU'RE WRONG. Off season conditioning is good...and I know many of you have conditioned the hell out of yourselves. But it's different when it's game time. Tailgate shape is different. Takes a different effort. Takes a different mental and physical state. You gotta have some contact drills...you gotta hit and be hit. Not to the point of injury...but you need to taste it a little. Get familiar with it again.

Saturday is your best shot before it counts for real. When the 13th rolls around you don't want to get out there and come up gimp. Can't power thru a hangover. Can't flip a cup. Can eat a brat and shotgun a beer without throwing up. That's how people die! You don't think they practice for eating contest by ordering salads with dressing on the side...always leave a little food on their plate...or eat off a salad plate to trick themselves into thinking their eating more, do you. NO...they chomp down whole heads of lettuce and guzzle blue cheese dressing out of the bottle...they eat everything on their plate and the scraps off everyone else at the table...their plate is the size of a bathtub... and they fill it up twice, people!

Big Red will be there around 1:00 on Sat. She, too, has to show some newbies the ropes. The "Fire in the Hole Cooker" needs to get a little work in before the season. When Boardwalk Billy doesn't cater ...Cooker is the stand in. So we'll be there with a myriad of delicious grilled meats - Brats, Burgers, Dogs, Ribs, Chicken, Elephant, Zebra, Rhino, Bald Eagle...and RAVEN - done Baltimore style. This Tailgate is officially titled the Training Table. Try it here before it costs you something.

Show up and be prepared to work yourselves out. You need the practice! Our supporting cast is practicing (see enclosed)

(Now I do have a life and do actually have a job...and these little emails are usually done while reports are running or downtime in airports, etc. I was doing the enclosed little file in the Chicago airport and was asked by a lady if I was writing a Comic or Children's book.)