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View an Archived Rant - Tailgate Rescue Crew - Rescuing Tailgaters from the Mundane!

One...two...three...there's four....and here's five.

brought forth this day: 2011-09-29 17:05:04
Oh...hey there...I didn't see you reading this. I was just sitting here counting my chickens. They haven't hatched yet....but I'm counting them anyway. It's been a while since we've had anything to count....so I'd figure I'd get started. Those "chickens" are wins. And I don't expect a whole lot of eggs to hatch this season...but maybe more than expected. What I'm really looking forward to is the big ass monster "chickens" that will hatch in a couple of years. And they will be some sweet muthafuggin chickens.

Damn near drowned last week at the game. I would've sought cover but I was deaf from the tailgate next door and couldn't hear April to telling me to "GET OUT OF THE RAIN, DUMBASS!" Oh well....I didn't care. Anyway, bank the win and move on.

And what we're moving on to is a Bear of a game. From Peppers, to Rivera's old team, to the gift they gave us in Greg Olsen - there are a ton of story lines in this game. It's hard for me not rant about Chicago. There's a lot to say but I thought it may come best from someone who "may not be the best, he he's priddy good...."

Many of you thought he did last weeks rant (last week was Haus...and if you didn't get clues...I can't help you) but there will be no doubt about it this week.

Ladies and Gentlemen - From the first family of tailgating....I give you...Hogie One Time. ANd for the record....when you're done reading...there's some "watching" to do. You MUST click the links below.
Hogie...the rant is yours.....

First off, I want to thank Jason for the opportunity to speak to you all today. I have been looking forward to this moment for as long as I can remember, almost 2 months now.
When our fearless leader announced that he would allow fellow tailgaters to step up and rant I though for sure that I would be in the top three. And I don't want to seem ungrateful here but, what I didn't expect was to be 3rd to Haus or my old man for Chr*st sake! Call it a sense of self worth, confidence or just plain old arrogance. (It's arrogance) It's not my fault. I was raised to believe I was tall, smart and handsome. None of which are true. I was taller than the people I grew up with and I will say that while I'm no Rocket Surgeon I certainly found out quickly that I could out wit the Fulghums with little or no effort.
First off, Edis is old. He looked in the mirror once and asked himself who is that old man staring back at me and what the hell does he think he is doing to my wife. (Sorry for the mental picture Jill) What business does he have with a typing on a computer? None that's what. I saw him trying to open a beer bottle with the CD tray once. Genius if you really think about...
And Haus, COME ON! That guy couldn't get a pubescent preteen pumped up if he had one of Charlie Sheen's so called Goddess with him. I actually fell asleep while reading what I can thought could only come from the delusionous ramblings of the village idiot. Sure he makes you laugh if he tickles you, but I don't want to read an essay from the guy...
So now that I have been passed the torch (which was sticky and smelled like pee) I could only do one thing. The one thing that we all do every Sunday. What we all expect of our beloved Panthers. What we all should remember and chant to each other with pride...

Keep BronBron #1

Keep BronBron #2

These should be accesed in order. I don't know why but a viedo of Rusty holding an iphone is gonna pop up. Look at the videos to the right and watch the one that's 4:08 in length first and then 5:12 in length. You'll know you're on the right video when you hear and see those "memorable" characters from Chi-cago. Enjoy. I have....about 10 times.