The Old One - Two Punch
brought forth this day: 2011-08-31 17:03:35
That's right folks....this weeks a double header! A little dress rehearsal preseason action on Thursday with the Steeler's and then Saturday welcomes those dirty Pirates from Greenville and a bunch of Cocks from Columbia. Charlotte is gonna have to wash the proverbial sheets of the city when this weekend is over.
Now, Thursday's game is typically a walk thru on the year for the players and similar fashion for the Tailgate. Make sure everything is in place, run a few plays and then shut her down until the bullets are real. But as soon as we take the dog out to piss one more time and then turn the lights out for a nice rest until the regular season starts....your 21 year old college junior neighbor cranks up the stereo, cars come piling in and the next thing you know the yard is filled with hot, drunk, rowdy half naked co-eds. Now, you've got two choices - (1) Call the cops and break up this disrespecting group of adolescents or (2) put on a t-shirt, grab a cold beer and a funnel, get your ass out there and go Frank The Tank on their ass! You guess which one Big Red chooses.
You'll know you had a good time Thursday if you have a headache on Friday. And you'll know you had a great time Saturday if you wake up with crabs on Sunday. Big Red spent 7 years in college and got zero degrees and never graduated but received more education than you can imagine. She's gonna show you some of it Saturday. She show you her culinary arts with the pig we're cooking, chemistry with the drinks she'll be making and she'll show you her negotiation skills with the tops she talks off college freshman (Big Red is kind of a lesbo - shhh).
They say the secret to life is to never stop learning and always challenge yourself. Well....most of you are dumb and lazy so just put on those college letters and challenge yourself to a drinking contest. It's the effort that you'll remember ( The rest of the world just remembers the winners and losers but that's not very motivating).
We've got one more weekend until it goes down for real. There will be an official kickoff to the regular season and some of the elements in store for this Tailgate Season will be revealed. Look forward to the next Rant....it'll get us where we need to be. From Flip Cup Domination, to Dunk contests, to surprise guests, cookoffs, a hot air balloon entrance and April giving birth in Big Red at the Tailgate.....this is gonna be a GREAT SEASON IN THE LOT!
And if anyone is interested.....here are the shirts for this year
. They are the same material as the one's 2 years ago...guys and ladies available. If you want one email me your size - firstname.lastname@example.org - They are $15.00. Will be placing orders next Wednesday.