Hello Football my old friend...I've come to Celebrate you once again....
brought forth this day: 2011-08-28 17:44:24
Hello. How are you? Good? That's nice.
Now that the pleasantries are over, let's get down to business.
By now I shouldn't have to tell you what comes next. Your internal clock should be ticking like the intro of Time by Pink Floyd - (and if you have to google that to know what i'm talking about you should slap yourself)
. If you were kidnapped, taken to a wilderness in a far away land, put in a dark cave in complete isolation until now.....something deep in your soul should be saying, "Shit...I gotta get outta here....it's time to FUCKING TAILGATE!!"
Once again, that time honored tradition and rite of passage is about to make it's glorious return. Like a sea turtle beaching herself and laying eggs. Like salmon swimming upstream to spawn. Like Matt Waters being hungover in the morning. It's time for the thundering clamor of Big Red and her Tailgate Rescue Crew to, once again, occupy that blacktop and 3rd and Poplar!
Now...over the years I've tried to open the season a number of ways, spewing both venom and optimism. But this year is different. This year comes with a theme already - CHANGE.
Change is everywhere....The Bearded Wonder is about to change
into a daddy. Waters changed
his waistline. Jenn Grant changed
from Island living back to the QC. Katie and Todd changed
marital status. April has got to learn to change diapers (and all by herself - she promised I don't have to - ever)
. The stock markets' performance this week has probably reduced your retirement to nothing but change
. Big Red changed
her beer capacity and we hope the changes the Panthers made will produce a better result on the field. But in the midst of all this Change
there are a few pillars you can count on, and us having the best damn tailgate in Charlotte is one of them!!
So... this weekend we get our first opportunity to stretch those familiar muscles. It takes a few weeks to get ready for Live action. Like Edis Fulghum preparing for one of his 3 on 3 AARP basketball games sponsored by Hoveround and Peaceful Memories Cemetery, it's a process that involves a lot of stretching, copious amounts of mentholated creme, unpredictable and embarrassing bowel movements, incoherent arguing all topped off with mild fright and confusion. But just like Edis calming down after the nice Dr. administers his meds and explains he's in a safe place....you, too, will once again feel at peace in the parking beneath the nurturing and protective shadow cast by Big Red.
So come Saturday afternoon if you just start walking in the general direction of Uptown, I'm sure your internal GPS will lead you to that exact spot where recurring hope, unbridled enthusiasm and cold beer collide for a glorious supernova of fun. And when you've spent all your money at the Uptown Cabaret, come on over to the Tailgate. We'll be waiting for you.
We'll be there before you, don't worry. The grill is getting her checkup before she goes into the season but we'll have something for you to cram into your face.
We're building something BIG, people. It's time to BE SPECIAL!!!!!!