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View an Archived Rant - Tailgate Rescue Crew - Rescuing Tailgaters from the Mundane!

...and so we face the final curtain.

brought forth this day: 2010-12-15 18:25:22

Well, the curtain on this season can't close soon enough. It's like watching an all nude geriatrics Cirque de Soleil. You were a little concerned the tickets were so cheap but never expected to see an 85 year old, naked, 92lb man swing for the titties of a 92 year old, naked, 250lb woman. You didn't sign up to see scrotums the size of tarps and nipples as hard and crusty and a year old loaf of rye bread. Shortly after it started, you wanted to claw your eyes out and run to the door but if the drinks and appetizers before the show were any indication of what the meal was gonna be like afterwards...you found a way to sit thru it.

Well that's what we've had this year. The above comparison and visual may be a bit harsh, but so has the football being played by the Panthers. The saving grace to the season has been the Tailgating and game watches. I'm not gonna recap the season yet because it ain't over. We gotta few more get togethers to go. But at least, after Sunday, we don't have to see it happen in front of our faces and in our city. A donkey show is a horrific thing to watch...but wincing at something on YouTube and watching it happen live in your living room are two different scenarios all together. You don't have to burn your fucking house down and kill all the neighbors because of your internet transgressions. If a horse has sex with a human woman on your property and other people are aware of it...you have to take drastic action. The Panthers drastic action will be firing everybody and starting over thru the draft.

This Sunday wraps up another Tailgating Season at 3rd & Poplar. That means there are two things that need to be settled -

  1. This year's Flip Cup Champion -- Guys are up by one with an outright beat down last week. One game and we, again, enforce our dominance. If they tie it up...it goes to one extra round of full flip cup. From there...I don't know. A shirts and skins game of grab ass, I guess.

  2. The Annual Awards Ceremony. There will be the traditional awards as well as some 1st time awards. It'll start promptly at 10:00. Shouldn't take too long. Once again, really solid efforts out of a lot of people. Moving into next year there will be a new process -- more to come on that.

What started as a way to keep drinking Sunday morning from Saturday night's binge has grown into an all out circus of debauchery...but in a good way.

If it wasn't for everyone coming and hanging out, then it would just be me and April in Big Red staring at each other. And I'm fairly certain she would be yelling at me - "You didn't need a Firetruck! Why did you waste money doing this -- I told you no one would come out here with us! I could've had a new pair of big glasses!". But instead, Big Red and TGRC roll on! We've built a hell'uva party and when we finally get play in the stadium to match the intensity in the lot...the Lombardi Trophy will reside in the Queen city.

We'll see you Sunday!

One last thing -- watch the new video's posted on You Tube. You can access them on the homepage of this site where the Dunk Contest files are located. You can see (1) Our Fox News Chili Cookoff expose (Matt Waters won -- more to come on that) and (2) The best video smack talk I've seen. A quick background -- Matt Waters went undefeated in our TGRC Fantasy Football league. Going into the playoffs he was a #1 seed and paired against Rusty, who barely made it in and did so on the last weekend of regular season. And then the playoffs happened and...well...you'll see.