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View an Archived Rant - Tailgate Rescue Crew - Rescuing Tailgaters from the Mundane!

Tailgating: The College Years

brought forth this day: 2010-12-01 18:21:54
There are so many great things about college. Skipping class, new people, cheap beer, free rubbers from Student Health, freshman girls to help use the afore mentioned free rubbers, meal plans, zero responsibility, and the list goes on and on. College is everything you hoped it would be and very little of what our parents hoped you would get out of it.
For most of us the College Years have come and gone. Campus life is in the rear view mirror. It's further back for some than others.....but we can all, longingly, recall the days of reckless abandon.

Well folks....I want to tell you a sad story. A story about a beloved girl who never had the chance to go to college. A story about a girl who brought joy to so many but never had the chance to explore her own adolescent dreams. The 'ole girl's name is Big Red and ever since she was old enough to roam the streets she was forced to work. Hauling people, saving lives and making her community a safer place to live. She never complained, she was never bitter. She went about her days focusing on doing her job and doing it well. But she's always wondered - What If? What if she had the chance to go to College? What if she could've filled her herself with Co-eds, kegs of Milwaukee's Best and occasional recreational drug use? Have young freshman girls swing from her fire pole - pantyless and braless? What would it be like to have people sleep inside her in anticipation of a game the next day? To be parked in front of a Frat house and know those inside loved her unconditionally.

This weekend we give Big Red her dream! She's gonna get her shot to experience a College Football Saturday! The ACC Championship is in town and Big Red's gonna be there in full force!!! That's right....she's busting out the college sweater, adorning the pomp-poms and getting ready to show collegiate athletics how to Fucking Party!!!

For those of us who head to the parking lot every Sunday....the Tailgating aspect of college may not have changed that much. Rolling out of bed (if you went to bed), unshowered, needing a quick keg stand and face slap to get you right back to your sweet spot. Bonging a beer, playing drinking games, scarfing down some food, telling lies, hanging with your peeps and enjoying the day. The only thing between college and present day is that we now call it a Sunday. But Saturdays are a little more Pure. There's an innocence about it. A more carefree attitude. Well, that attitude comes to the parking lot this weekend, people.Whether you're a Hokie or a Seminole or something all together different....this weekend....YOU'RE A COLLEGE STUDENT!!!!

So turn in your books so you can have some beer money, memorize the birthdate on that fake ID, drop that Monday 8:00am class, get the mid-term from the Frat test vault and come get a Higher Education.We'll have food and beverages.We'll be in the same lot as always but a different spot - so look for Big Red. She's excited so she'll be out there before you....that's almost a certainty. Big Red is also aware there are a lot of good games on Sat...so she is going to try very hard to get her audio visual in check. But no promises.

See Ya Saturday. Go. Fight. Win.

Oh yea - the Panthers lost again last Sunday to the Browns. Best part of watching the game was Rusty's Cleveland Brown-Eye Sandwich. Worst part was watching a great Panther, John Kasay, lose the game. But that's probably a blessing in disguise. Here's to hoping the Panthers get LUCKY in next years draft.
They have a 4:05 game this Sunday - so maybe everyone will be over the hangover from acting like a College kid again.