From the Horses Mouth
brought forth this day: 2010-08-19 00:00:00
I've heard the rumors.... the back alley whispers. I've sensed the uncertainty, doubt and tension.
"Will there be a Tailgate, Saturday?"...."Will the truck be there"..."Are they building Jason a new liver out of Big Red's old gas tank?"
Well let me set the dam record straight..... like Brett Favre, Ric Flair, Keith Richards and crabs on a college campus.....WE AIN'T GOING NO WHERE, BABY!!!!!!
Did you think an injury would stop us? No one person is bigger than the Tailgate! The Tailgate is not defined by a lone individual. The TGRC is a conglomeration of individuals of questionable intelligence and the sheerest moral fabric. And sitting atop this "Voltron" like tailgating supercreature is the glue that binds us all....that 1973 born behemoth, affectionately know as Big RED. And if one of us goes down....we cram their a$$ inside the 'ole girl and use 'em for fuel to get to the next Tailgate. That's how it works people!
Will there be a Tailgate? Please. Will Katie be loud? Will Kim emasculate someone? Will Waters show up on a Sunday morning without going to bed on a Saturday nite? The answer is a simple one, people....YES!!! There are a few things you can count on in life....and it ain't death and taxes. You can bet dollars to doughnuts that Jenn Gribbin and Tim Barrett will dress up for damn near any kind of Fest, Haus will never get a tan, Brian Hadella has seen more concerts than you and if the bright lights are on at Mint and Morehead.....then the cold beer's flowing at 3rd and Poplar!
Now some of you may be questioning, "It's Pre-Season...does it really matter"? Hell Yes it matters! It's about getting in game shape. You gotta be ready to go when the Cup Flippin counts. Some of you self proclaimed bad a$$es are saying, "I don't have an off season...I'm always ready". Really? When was the last time you were drinking 16 consecutive weekend mornings with 8 of those being before 9:00am? Thought so. So don't give me that $hit about it not counting. If it doesn't matter to you, then you don't matter. It's that simple. Pre-Season is where we "install" for the regular season. We hone. We fine tune. We become one big efficient,supercharged, muthafuggin, Tailgate Force!
If you can handle it you know where to find us. Big Red rolls in the lot at 2:00pm on Sat. It's dam near Go time. Tick Tock.
(Disclaimer - if you find me wandering off with piss in my pants, jelly on my face and eating pain killers like tic-tac's. Please return me to April Oliver or a Doctor)